Angel Wings and Herb Tea

Life after loss; healing through creativity, writing and art

Journalling and a wee giveaway

16 Comments

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAI’ve always felt uncomfortable when I don’t have ready access to a pen and paper;  if the words jumping and shivering in me can’t be snared and captured on the page.  If the only thing in my bag is an old receipt and a blunt pencil I can do it. I’ve sneaked precious thoughts down the side of old metro tickets,  I’ve biroed over paper cafe serviettes, weasled along the top of cereal boxes, on  my hand, even though I don’t like the feeling   of ink seeping through my skin and blood and becoming part of my cellular makeup…

Above are the overly neat pages from a 1990 diary…full of lonely desperation and determination to make myself better.

I have kept a journal intermittantly forever, and l have most of my old journals…they were in storage when our cabin burnt down so I can still trawl through my teenage angst ridden pages and wince at their pious judgements self loathing .

 

‘I really should curb this tendency of mine to always say what I think when I’m arguing with Mum, really everyone would be alot happier if I just kept my feelings to myself’

 

‘       ‘I am quite pleased with myself that, at the end of a Thursday I have arrived home happy and cheerful without having had a major depression during the day’

I struggle to feel compassion for her, the overly self conscious prissy teenager, cowed and petrified of life, controlled and unempowered. I wince because I still see fragments of her splintering into my life everyday

 

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Despite feeling a vague sense of melancholy at the state I was generally in at that time, I realise how the journalling process helped me navigate those torturous years. Somewhere to flood with thoughts, words and feelings, never mind how pious and and negative they were.  A place to process desperation, despair, loneliness anguish, and obviously to record those happy Thursdays where I didn’t have a major depression!!

Those beautiful clean white pages were my friends….they diin’t judge or criticise or ignore me …..but most of all I just loved to write, to create something out of my experience, a safe space for me.

 

I still write  journal, it still seems to be less about what I’ve done and more about how I feel and its such a gift to have that  sacred place to work through ideas, offload things that really, noone else needs to hear…

 

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I also really really love journals. Beautiful blank books to fill with juiciness, ravaging despair sublime joy, I could own hundreds, all lined up with shivers of anticipation.

I’ve started making a few hand sewn books, mostly with the kids, art journals, cookery books; its so satisfying, the cutting and stitching , creating

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So I decided to offer one as  a giveaway to one beautiful reader.  I love reading your comments, suggestions, support, and if you leave a comment on this post I will pick some one to receive a book.

How would you use it? What would you write?

What would you draw, rant or collage

There’s nothing like an empty book……

16 thoughts on “Journalling and a wee giveaway

  1. Wonderful diaries x

  2. Ahhh, lovely new blog; just like a new journal. I too have lots of notebooks all neatly stacked up on the corner of the table, above my bed, next to my bed, in my bag… pen and pad – nothing like it. I can tell you for sure that any journal won by me would be cherished, loved and filled with lots of thoughts, ideas and musings about this crazy world I find myself in. Please do enter me 🙂

  3. A beautiful blue book, full of cotton laundry fresh pages, just waiting to be filled x

  4. Oh gosh I had hundreds of journals too, filled with bleak manic-depressive poetry mostly! Now I have bits of notebooks here, there and everywhere, like you I write on whatever is handy! Recipes, snippets of ideas for fiction or an article, big, mad ideas that just need space to get out of my head and be observed in the cold light of day…. All the things I want to do with my life and how I’m going to get there….

    I most definitely need a beautiful handcrafted book to set these things alight and give them a worthy home 🙂 x

  5. This would be fantastic for recording all the things we do with the kids on the summer holidays, my boys love keeping a journal in the holidays.

  6. I love keeping a journal or notebook.
    These are gorgeous. 🙂

  7. Delighted to find your blog (through The Rainbow Way) Love the name! I’m an avid journal-er too, love the journal you made, so please put my name in the pot 🙂

  8. I always encourage my children to write, draw, stick and glue in their journals but have never done so myself. Perhaps I should try to set an example. I know that it can help people who over think things, as I do.

    • Yes I agree, doing something yourself , especially if you are visibly enjoying it is absolutely the best way to engage kids.And as for overthinking..just spill it all into the page..words, images, collage , whatever works for you!!

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