Angel Wings and Herb Tea

Life after loss; healing through creativity, writing and art

June lovely June

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June lovely June,
How beautiful the sound,
The song of the cuckoo
In the green woods resounds,

June is lovely.
But things start happening in June. The foxgloves come out for starters. Every time I see them for the first time I give a little start,’ Oh!you again…it’s that time again’. Because foxglove time means its nearly Time.

I start to notice little things I didn’t before.
The label in my neighbour’s shoe when I go to feed her sheep.’.Lilly’ A brand of shoes in the uk.
The weekly article chronicling a blind date in the magazine of the newspaper I read features a girl named Lily.
I read a random section in a book about childhood development and my eye is drawn by a description of the melancholic child..’the drooping Lily’
I suddenly find myself driving past the farmhouse on Dartmoor where Lily’s doves live, the ones she loved and the ones we released at her funeral. There they are preening themselves on the roof.
I get a hug from Lily’s teacher who I haven’t seen to talk to for months, when I pop into the staff room at school to find some milk.
I watch Tansy taking a tiny sip of yoghurt from the edge of her teaspoon, as she is sick and not eating with her usual hearty gusto. And it made me realise I’d forgotten how delicately Lily ate.
Leo and I find ourselves looking through some old photos…and Leo says he can’t wait to die because he will see Lily again.
My lovely friend hands me a card with a beautiful dove flying through an abstract rainbow….

I find myself walking through the school vegetable garden to source lettuces for the summer fair cafe I am helping to run, and see the sun pouring through the exquisite stained glass window which was created by Rowan Day as a memorial for Lily. I have never been able to look at it before.

I know these are not the only things that will happen as the Time fast approaches.
Last days to tick off. The visit to the dentist where the receptionist complimented me on my four beautiful children and Lily broke her pearl necklace on her way there.
The last walk together when Lily covered her fingers in foxglove blossoms, and we ate goats cheese and pesto on rice cakes and rolled down a grassy hill covered in buttercups in the sun.
The last morning when Lily couldn’t lace her shoes and everyone was cross and rushed and Freddie was the one to do it for her….

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