Angel Wings and Herb Tea

Life after loss; healing through creativity, writing and art

Still Here!

5 Comments

This feels like forgotten space, strange unfamiliar fruit tasted long ago, yet recognised, missed……Lack of habit, distraction, busy days, inertia, who knows..I haven’t written here in a regular way for such a long time I almost don’t know how to. It feels awkward, like that first uncertain hug after an argument.

Meanwhile my belly grows rounder, and Spring grows greener and warmer and more abundant with just a whisper of north wind to remind us of the weeks of chill which kept us shivering by the fire knitting reluctantly while the sap rose in our veins just the same.

Now, the windflowers dance like stars in the woods, the lawns are embroidered with Primroses, Lady’s smock, Speedwell, Daisies; the promise of Bluebells, the memory of Snowdrops. In the walled garden herbs are hurrying to break from their long enforced slumber, Mints and Balms, Angelica, Tansy,ย  Rue in a frenzy of life and hope. The polytunnels are bursting with verdant abundance. There is so much bursting energy, buds swelling, coy pigeons flirting, (downright violent duck mating!) my baby swirling and swimming in its own warm, secret haven. It’s hard not to get exhausted by it all! Its suddenly become almost impossible to go to bed early, and the sun peeps around the shutters so early now…

We have so much to be thankful for. Sometimes Hugh and I look at each other, and marvel, ‘how did we get this lucky?’ Our house burnt down but somehow, in an easy flowing synchronisity of events, we have ended up in a beautiful vibrant place full of love life and community. We garden together and share Thursday soup and bread, we sing together, meet together, borrow, lend and share; the children spend hours and hours playing in the trees and gardens, learning, accomodating..being children.

Now that the Spring warmth is here and I no longer dread undressing to go to bed in the glacial heights of our enormous bedroom, I am relaxing into the final couple ofย  months of the pregnancy…the final months! July seems close. Friends are starting to talk about nappies they have put by for me, I am thinking about a king sized mattress, I am still not really believing I’m pretty close to having another baby. It’s exciting!

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Still Here!

  1. Oh I have the same feelings about my blog, you put it so succinctly! Congratulations on your pregnancy, such a lovely time of year to birth :)Carly x

  2. Just found your beautiful blog ๐Ÿ™‚ You have a lovely, peaceful space here.

  3. I am glad you are still here lol I check back on you often.Valeriexxxhttp://vlbeattie.typepad.com/a_mormon_mama/

  4. Thankyou lovely people, glad you visited!

  5. I missed you! I am delighted to hear how well your new living arrangements are working out. Sounds so good for all of you. Tansy is so beautiful! They have gotten so much bigger since you last wrote here.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s