Angel Wings and Herb Tea

Life after loss; healing through creativity, writing and art



You know what, I do talk alot about how much I love living without electricity, the candles the simplicity, the magic…. but I’m finding our limited acess to the laptop really, really hard.
We have an invertor in our car, which charges our phones from the car battery on the school run, but doesn’t leave any time for charging anything else; we sneakily charge the laptop if we visit a friend…but …that gives us an hour and a half use of an evening. An hour and a half.
 I love this blog, I love writing here, and knowing that you guys are actually reading it, and sometimes commenting (I especially like that.) But it’s challenging.  I’m also trying to write some more articles and some other projects, (currently drafted in longhand by candle light, which is fine, honestly) But at some point I need to transfer them on to the screen, and research things, and check my emails, and hell, even reply to a few. Then of course Hugh needs to check a few things out, like the price of batteries and solar panels, specifically, and Freddie wouldn’t mind downloading a bit of music too……
So I’ve started to visit internet cafes on one or two of my three child free mornings  a week, and I drink copious amounts of three mint tea and studiously ignore the cappucino. But sometimes I have no transport and can’t get to the internet cafe, and am at home with free time and NO COMPUTER.
So I pace up and down and imagine all the writing I could be doing and waste lots of time huffing and grumbling whilst putting some buckets of laundry on to soak, before I remember to look out of the window. It’s beautiful, sunny and warm, and I do have a pen and paper if I really need to write, but  there are steps to be built, paths to be dug, raised beds to be planned.
So I build steps (no pics yet as camera battery needs charging) chop wood, and walk in the wood and it feels good and spring like.
But I still want  to get on the computer!
Well, this evening Hugh brought back a beautifully charged laptop for me, no one else wanted to use it, and anyone would have thought I’d be delighted, but instead I wanted to lie by the fire in the cosy candle light and read. It seemed a bit 21st century to start turning computers on. Briefly, as I lay there, I considered giving it all up and just donning a shawl and several layers of petticoats and forgetting all about modern nonsensical ideas such as blogging.
I may have even voiced this thought.
I got short shrift from the 13 year old among us, sighed, and turned the wretched thing on, the laptop I mean, and got on with it.
 I did write something for the current issue of Juno, but that was when we had endless electricity,

8 thoughts on “Frustration

  1. Perhaps one day you will have a little solar panel to charge your laptop . . . I once knew a guy who charged a battery to watch his TV by pedaling a bicycle . . .I think it is just getting used to being without the computer. After almost eight weeks away from it, except to quickly check emails and pay bills and taxes while in New Zealand last spring, I was really not happy to have the computer back at all as I had seen how much my time on it kept me trapped indoors. . . I think it is the connections that are made with blogging and writing and the internet that are missed and valued though, not the technology itself.

  2. I hear you… but like you say, you have pen and paper to write and perhaps an afternoon in the library (where you can plug in and don't have to buy coffee) will suffice to type things up? It's always lovely to read your blogs, but the draw is partly to your wonderful life without too much technology 😉 and I'm sure that all us avid readers will be here whether you post in another day or another month. Loved your article in JUNO. Keep smiling – it's Spring and we are lucky to be experiencing it in a real sense 🙂 x

  3. I would love to live more simply…my husband and I have many plans for when he is well again and we actually might have some money (maybe). I too worry about the lack of laptop most of all…I love blogging and looking up vegan recipes (recent converts)and think out of all things, running water, light …long baths …the lap top might be the hardest to part with.

  4. You know what, Fred is researching a bike powered system…and a friend may have a small solar system to lend us…limited light in a summer wood might be a bit problematic… But yes, you're right its certainly not the technology I love, as you know I would always prefer a quill pen and oak gall ink to screen based writing, but sadly editors just haven't caught on….

  5. Ah thankyou alice, you know these comments have reminded me that it's really not too bad, and I was just having a frustrated moment. I wouldn't really change how we live (after all I did choose to simplify) I think it's just the struggle between really wishing I lived in another century, but also wanting to be part of the 21st, albeit in a medieaval kind of way. I really want to create the furure I want us all to be able to live.Unfortunately our local library only lets you have half an hour free..and no coffee!!!

  6. But I am getting used to it.. really! A lack of anything always encourages me to be creative and find the bike powered system, the solar, the quill seriously. Warm wishes for your husband's health, I hope you can work towards your dreams, write them down and pin the paper on the wall, look at it and visualise a positive outcome every day, it really works!

  7. we all have frustrated moments 🙂 and finding a balance between modern life and a simplified life is difficult… that's not good at your library! Here you can take your laptop in and just plug in and sit for as long as you like using their wifi!

  8. I read your thing in JUNO and realised you'd commented on my blog – an amazing article and such a testament to your glorious daughter. Simple living is also difficult living sometimes, isn't it. I'm feeling the challenges myself at the moment, so sending you virtual peppermint tea and a big hug.

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