Angel Wings and Herb Tea

Life after loss; healing through creativity, writing and art



The trees are still bare, their thin black branches whipped in the wind rolling along the valley today, but appearences are deceiving.

Spring is surging and swelling and even with my eyes closed it’s a tangible force to be felt, smelt and heard.

A pair of pigeons hop coquettishly in the sycamore outside the window, fluttering  their spring dance in the tree tops. Down by the stream, tadpoles are hatching in thick black wriggles, burying into the soft mud at the bottom of the pond. Yesterday, Leo and I found a decapitated mother frog surrounded by her own eggs, abandoned on the path near the pond. The tragedy of death surrounded by the promise of new life.
When I lived in a house I never felt the arrival of spring. One day I would just notice that it had arrived, it always seemed to surprise me. Here in the woods I see every leaf unfurl, notice every minute of extra daylight in these candle free mornings.

And when I sit alone in the woods feeling crumpled and resentful about some injustice or sadness in my life, I sink down into the mossy ground and it seems as if the earth is alive, warm and full of movement. The energy is palpable, an upward thrusting of spring virility. The woodland floor is sprouting bluebell leaves as fast as it can and baby rabbits are already hopping among the brambles.

When dark winter recedes I wake up too, the spring energy is in me and everything seems more possible and more likely. It rouses memories and connections which have slumbered peacefully through the cold months muffled by winter. Lily always seems more present in Spring, this will be the third one since she left us. Spring rips the bandages off the wounds she left behind and leaves them raw and vulnerable again. It’s not a bad thing, to feel them. Winter numbs and subdues, sends it all underground, but with each new flower that blooms Lily comes closer and there is all that pain again, but also the chance to heal a little bit more, to share a little bit more, to search a little bit more  and to grow. There is always that.

4 thoughts on “Spring

  1. Spring! It is above zero today and the snow is melting and dripping from the roof . . . still a long time from seeing anything green yet though.

  2. It is still minus sixteen or so over here in Moscow, but today I could feel the spring, despite the concrete and the roads and the piles of blackened ice on the pavements; there was that unmistakable new note of spring in the voice of the birds and that feeling in the air. I love to read your blog and be reminded of what's happening on the real land around, behind and beneath city life. And to remember that even the urban landscape changes with the turning season… our faces to the sun at last. Greetings from over here to you over there. Happy Spring!

  3. ooh sorry Laurel forgot you're still in the depths…I'll send you a virtual celandine.

  4. Thankyou Sarah, you're right about Spring in the city, there are still birds after all, and trees, plants people…and of course the sun!Warmest greetings in return

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